Monday, November 30, 2009

heinz tomato ketchup.

I'm currently working on a draft of my research paper.

in a cafe with french fries. and HEINZ TOMATO KETCHUP!

do I like ketchup? no.

did I eat and entire bowl of french fries dipped in half a bottle of HEINZ "delicious" TOMATO KETCHUP? absolutely.

I don't want to call it life changing... but it was magical.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

no, I don't know kanye west.

I'm currently working on my independent study project. I've chosen to study child welfare in kenya, essential how do they deal with issues of child abuse. I'm looking at what legislation is on the books, how/if its been implemented, etc. its just the most uplifting topic. because believe it or not kid aren't better off in the developing world. go figure.

my professor provided me with a contact, his name is Joseph and he's a pastor as well as running an NGO (I think.) he's a nice guy with good intentions, although a bit misplaced. and still agreed to help me out even after learning I don't attend church. I'm convinced he snorted/coughed/gagged simultaneously when I stupidly mentioned I don't really subscribe to the whole organized religion thing. whoops. he's working with my professor (again, I think, because he talks and talks and eventually despite my best efforts I stop listening, because african men talk using metaphors and analogies and he loses me after ten minutes) on some sort of cultural tourism project in his home district, western kenya. he's also working with an American woman who also runs an NGO to set up internet kiosks in western kenya.

the idea is that these internet kiosks will help generate revenue for women's groups in the region. the region has been really affected by the AIDS pandemic and there are loads of orphans these communities are having to look after. from the revenue these kiosks earn some will go back into the operation of the kiosk and the rest will be used for
other community based projects... like sustainable agriculture, small scale (again, I think.)

anyways, this guy has been super helpful, because as an american and a student and not having my own NGO I would have trouble accessing a lot of the information or least accessing the buildings (because invariably you go and the information isn't there and no one has heard of the document you're looking for) I've been able to.

this guy is really all about connections. and he really doesn't understand how anything in the US works. he introduced me to the assistant to the mp (member of parliament) for his district, a creepy man who saw white and smelled money and proceeded to hit on me shamelessly. joseph said the man could arrange a tour of parliament for me, which would be pretty cool, although an afternoon with creepy mr. creeperson does not sound all that appealing. of course then joseph said that at some point he will have to come to the US and fundraise and then I'll be able to get him a tour of our parliament and introduce him to our government officials. a) we don't have a parliament, b) they offer tours of congress but I personally do not have the hookup, c) this man clearly has no idea where alaska is, and d) I'll write to obama and see if I can get him to clear his schedule but don't hold your breath. wanna meet sean parnell instead? although I doubt I could swing even that.

joseph asked what my parents do, I told him my dad is biologist for the government and my mom works on grants for the government (obviously basic and simplistic interpretations of the hard work they both do.) and he immediately said, "Oh so if we need money to get this project started your mother could help us write grants..." and "So your father would be interested in helping with the environmental tourism side of the project..." of course he's saying all this and I still really have no clue what his whole project is about, plus he has no project proposal. and then he goes on to say "It would be easier to work with your Dad if he had an NGO..."

yeah, because my dad's about to start up an environmental tourism NGO in kenya. that makes sense.

and I, being an idiot, mentioned in passing (and foolishly) that I had a uncle who was an agricultural economist and had done work in developing countries - which I was pretty sure is true. and of course, Joseph is all about networking and contacts. and is now all about my uncle... who's actually job is... well I'm not sure.

he asked me about fundraising, something I know nothing about... I mentioned I'd kinda/sorta helped with a fundraiser for a friend this summer and we'd raised $20,000. which in turn means I know everything about fundraising and could I get in touch with coca-cola and get them to sponsor a concert in kenya. yeah, let me call up my sweet contacts at coke. he wanted to know if I knew any celebrities that could perform at some concert for funds... yeah, cause I'm in the know with kanye west and george clooney. damn, I left my address book at home.

ahhhhh alaska, celebrity mecca.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

asante-giving.

happy thanksgiving.

here we've been talking about thanksgiving for months. probably since we arrived in kenya. and we had big plans. big, delicious plans.

after quite a bit of searching we finally tracked down a turkey. we hadn't been able to find one and had either thought of: a) switching to chicken (yuck!) or b) trying to catch one of the mangey wild turkeys that run around kibera slum (double yuck!) so finding a 7 kilo turkey was a huge coup. of course we didn't have a dish to cook it in, anything big enough to defrost it in, or really any idea what we were doing.

we washed out one of our plastic wash basins (because we do our clothes by hand, I suck) and let the turkey ghetto defrost in purple tub in our pantry. the problem then became that the turkey didn't fit in our abnormally small oven. we borrowed a giant stew pot and stuck the turkey on its end... to wild success.

in the end our thanksgiving feast included:
  • turkey
  • mashed potatoes
  • candied sweet potatoes
  • vegetarian stuffing
  • gravy
  • beef (because the pork looked scary) stuffing
  • macaroni 'n cheese
  • dinner rolls
  • salad with fresh mango and citrus
  • banana bread
  • zucchini bread
  • brownies
  • pecan pie
  • vanilla ice cream
  • tusker
  • wine (carlo rossi - the jug! classy!)
  • champagne (andrĂ© - only the best!)
  • boiled water
it was a freakin' feast. as we totally pulled it off.

after two failed roll recipes (the first didn't rise enough, the second rose too much) my rolls (thanks mom!) turned out perfectly. I made a spectacular pie crust from scratch (thanks google) that was perfectly flakey. the turkey was juicy and delicious despite its ghetto beginnings.

our guests included other american students, professors, kenyan friends and some host family members. our kenyan guests had never experienced thanksgiving before and were obviously overwhelmed by the variety of food/the amount they were expected to eat in one sitting.

we also tried to explain the story of the first thanksgiving, the kid friendly version - pilgrims, indians, turkey, pumpkins and friendship - and the version that includes smallpox, syphilis, genocide, trails of tears and reservations. not sure we really conveyed why thanksgiving is such a GREAT holiday...

we sat and ate by the pool at our apartment and had just the most lovely early dinner.

it was the best thanksgiving I could hope for given that I couldn't be at home. nothing burnt, the company was good, I ate too much, and now the dishes are done.

I hope you all have equally delicious, and wonderful thanksgivings.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

salty soul.


on saturday night I went to a concert. maureen, a kenyan friend, said a really good band was playing near the museum, so my roommates and I decided to check it out.

our plan was to find a restaurant near city centre and grab some dinner first. indian was the plan. of course seeing as how my guidebook is three years old I should've known the likelihood of the restaurant being there was slim. we didn't find it, and after walking through a very sketchy part of nairobi settled on a very kenyan establishment. mmmhmmm nothing like a greasy omelet and chapati when you were banking on chicken tikka masala.

after a somewhat disappointing dinner we cabbed over to museum hill and club galileo. I should've guessed when we stepped out of the cab and everyone was dressed to nines that this was a bigger deal than I'd anticipated.

we bought our tickets and walked it, failing to notice the red carpet to our right. just as we'd entered the place and were about to buy a few tuskers a woman asked if she could interview us... on the red carpet.

of course keep in mind we had NO idea who the band was, what kind of music they played or anything.

but who passes up an opportunity to be interviewed on tv, on a red carpet no less? not me.

as we walked over to the red carpet we quietly asked a man sitting at a table the name of the band. his response, "wait, you've never heard of them?" well, clearly not, if we're asking. what he said sounded like "salty soul." and then we were on the red carpet.

kiss tv is like the kenyan equivalent of what mtv used to be in the states. they show music videos 24/7. so there we were, standing on the red carpet, in front of a giant kiss tv billboard, being interviewed for television about something we knew nothing about.

the interview went something like this:

interviewer: so have you heard of the band?

us: yeah, "salty soul" (name drop for authenticity) is great.

interviewer: which song are you most excited to hear?

us: all of them. we hear they're great live.

interviewer: you're not from here right?

us: no. (really? is it that obvious?) we're from the states.

interviewer: what other kenyan acts do you like?

us: nameless is great. (nameless is also the only other kenyan artist any of us could name... and he's not that good.)

interviewer: well enjoy the show.

us: thanks.

of course we find out later the band is called "sauti sol," but my hope is we said it fast enough no one in viewing audience could tell we had no idea what we were talking about.

the band played. they sounded a bit like boyz 2 men but were all dressed like kanye west... glasses, red pants, suspenders... go figure. but definitely entertaining.

plus I'm well on my way to becoming a kenyan celeb.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

matatu.

ah, public transport in nairobi. always an adventure.

today my friend becca and I grabbed a matatu into kibera. becca is working on a project with a girl's school in kibera slum and I volunteered to help her with arts and crafts day.

matatus are fourteen passenger vans that provide cheap transport around nairobi and all of kenya. they are considerably less regulated that the public buses. matatus are decorated with pictures of rappers (most commonly rick ross for some strange reason), quotes from the bible, cash $ symbols and other random things. music blares inside and you can't hear yourself think. although the limit is fourteen passengers that is never adhered to, and its not uncommon to sitting on someone or be sat upon. robbery is common in matatus and you really have to watch yourself.

today was no exception.

we boarded the matatu, becca and I being passengers 13 and 14, and three people boarded after us. a man pushed squished me in, so it was becca and I seated (wedged) between two youngish kenyan men. the man sitting next to me had a bag with a magazine in it. as becca and I talked the man proceeded to inch the bag over my bag (which was on my lap.) all of a sudden I felt a slight poke and realized the man was trying to unzip my bag to get at the goodies with in. he'd managed to unzip it almost enough to get a hand in before I noticed. very sneaky... I glared at him, moved my bag and re-zipped it. I turned to becca and said, "so this guy is trying to rob me right now..." at which point she noticed the man next to her had moved his jacket on top of her bag and was in the process of trying to rob her.

as becca moved her bag out of mr. grabby hands' way the matatu driver told everyone to put on their seatbelts because there was police check up ahead. at this point a shuffle in the matatu began as people tried to find seatbelts. the man sitting next me half stood up and tried to squeeze in between becca and I while attempting to reach into becca's back pocket.

at this point we'd had enough and demanded the matatu driver pull over and we got out.

matatu rides - sometimes you get a good one, sometimes you get a REALLY BAD one.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

maasai.

while in tanzania we spent three days with the maasai. driving on insanely questionable roads, we drove three hours from arusha. arusha is green, the weather is temperate, it rained nearly ever night we were there. maasai land is a completely different story. it hasn't rained there in months. the land was cracked and dust billowed across empty expanses - save for a few huts dotting the landscape. riding with the window of our bus open my arm was gray and ashy by the time we arrived. the only plants are acacia trees with very few leaves and the occasional aloe plants that are more gray in color than green.

after darting off the road in our sweet land rover we drove the bush - the maasai don't exactly have paved roads to their bomas (houses.) we passed a young maasai herding goats and asked for directions, he point generally into the distance (real helpful) and asked for water. the drought has hit the maasai hard. not only has the river completely dried up, there is no pasture for their cattle, and the women walk at least five kilometers everyday for water. the maasai we visited had sent some of the young men off with the cattle to ngorogoro conservation area in hopes of finding pasture there. unfortunately upon arriving half the cattle died due to a lack of immunity to diseases in ngorogoro (the land around ngorogoro crater was littered with the bones of dead cattle and maasai herding bones in cow's clothing.) yet despite their recent hardships the maasai were incredibly welcoming.

we stayed in tents just outside the maasai village. no toilets, no showers. just acacia everywhere. the maasai still live in the traditional bomas - mud and sticks. the bomas are surrounded by thorny acacias cut down and placed as a fence - to keep out lions, they say. the huts in surround a central paddock where the cattle and goats hang out at night. they cook indoors and entering a maasai boma will send you into a coughing, eye-watering fit - there's that much smoke. supposedly the tanzanian government is providing food aid (maize) to the maasai because with the drought they are unable to sustain their traditional way of life.

we spent time beading with the maasai women - the old woman sitting next to me was unimpressed with the color combinations I chose and kept throwing beads at me. she also hated the pattern I made (I thought it was nice a symmetrical) and further encouraged new patterns my grabbing my hand and forcing new beads on me.

the women are beautiful. tall, slim and very dark. their tartan and intricate beadwork are glorious.

the men are an intimidating bunch. wiry, muscly and slim, they walk around with tire shoes, tartan and really awesome walking sticks (which also serve countless other purposes.)

our first night in maasai land there was an elephant near the bomas. our academic directors were inclined (for legitimate safety reasons) not to let us go look for it. so we convinced some of the younger maasai men (through an elaborate miming operation - the maasai don't speak english or swahili for the most part, and we certainly didn't speak Ma) to take us to look for the elephant. it was pretty incredible. they know their land and its animals so well. we roamed around the bush as the maasai tracked the elephant - all aragorn the ranger style. although we never actually saw the elephant - it got dark too quickly - it was an amazing experience.

we woke up the next morning early, 5:30, and hiked into the hill to watch the sunrise over kilimanjaro. it was nice to see snow. kilimanjaro is something else. it dwarfs its surroundings and rises so remarkably from the flats of the plains.

our second day we had a goat sacrifice. one of the girls on the program missed the memo, I think. she grew very attached to the goat, even naming it marshmallow and grew very alarmed when one of the maasai began smothering it. they smother the animal, I think, because then all the blood rushes to the stomach, the reasoning of which becomes apartment when the cut the animal up.

after marshmallow died he was immediately skinned, very expertly using a machete. the meat was then cut off in sections. I received warrior meat to try i.e. raw kidney. it was still warm and tasted salty and bloody. I'm not super eager to eat it again, in all honesty, although I did fell a bit emboldened. some of the meat was cooked over an open fire (started by rubbing two sticks together - took them 30 seconds - as often as I tried I was never successful at that as a kid) and some was boiled in a stew (tasted a lot like dirt and blood.) when the goat's body cavity was pretty hollowed out, save for copious amount of blood, the maasai dumped some cooked bits in and slurped it up. I will say the most intimidating thing I've ever seen is a maasai man hunched over a goat he killed not 10 minuted before, eating the raw meat off his machete and slurping blood into his mouth, as it dribbles down his chin. nothing like it.

we sat around the campfire one night and asked questions through a translator. they asked questions back. we asked a question about rites of passage, i.e. male/female circumcision. they responded in turn with a similar question and thought it was hilarious that all people in our culture aren't circumcised. a fellow student, originally from japan, explained that in japan no one is circumcised, and from the this the maasai determined japan is country of children because no one is ever circumcised into adulthood. bizarre.

our last night we went and danced with the maasai. dancing involved a lot more jumping than I'm used to and the maasai children seemed to find my lack of rhythm/jumping ability particularly amusing. nothing quite like watching the maasai jump by starlight with kilimanjaro illuminated in the background.

all in all it was a fantastic experience. as in many of my experiences in east africa being male would have made it a bit easier. the maasai were much more comfortable with the guys in the group. they didn't seem to know what to make of women/girls who weren't completely deferential to men. ugh.

regardless, its impressive that people still live so traditionally. some children go to school and they use plastic water jugs, so some things have changed but you can imagine people living in reasonably the same way for generations. what remains to be seen is if the maasai can hold onto their culture as everything changes around them.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

blessed be the panther.

my trip to tanzania was more than fantastic. and absolutely bizarre from start to finish.

our hostel was run by a former black panther in exile. he left the states in the early 70's after, what he calls, a bogus gun charge, and hasn't been back since. he runs what you might call a socialist compound way off the beaten path near arusha, tanzania. nice enough guy. has clearly mellowed with age. his dog has a dreaded tail and the walls of the compound are tagged with pictures of malcolm x and martin luther king jr. and slogans like "power to the people."

we went to the war crimes tribunal for rwanda which is held in arusha. very interesting. they've managed to accomplish a great deal in a fairly short amount of time. it was pretty intense to sit their and listen to witness testimony about people being slaughtered in churches - sitting 15 feet from the men who essentially ordered the killings.

we climbed up to 9,000 ft. on kilimanjaro. in a rain storm. I'm not sure I've ever been so drenched hiking before - but once we started we were all pretty determined to reach the first camp. the guides and porters we passed are some of the most hardcore people. climbing kilimanjaro had some appeal before actually seeing how its done in tanzania. porters carry everything for the wazungu hiking up the mountain. they balance huge bundles on their heads while wearing second hand columbia/rei gear (purple and teal - real old school.) we brought lunches with us but when we arrived at the hut porters had hiked up spaghetti, what I'll call pizza rolls (with cabbage and terrible east african cheese), fried potatoes and metal silverware. it felt like cheating.

going down was exciting. the rain persisted during lunch. we were soaked and freezing. the trail is well maintained but its still mud and small rivers were running everywhere. myself, two other students decided to jog out the 8 or so kilometers and our guide (because you have to have one) joined us. I fell three times and rolled my ankle (not badly) once. classic gilia hiking trip I would say. people hiking up looked at us like we were nuts - our guide mentioned people don't normally jog off of kilimanjaro. I was a sight when we finished. covered head to toe in mud, blood and soaking wet. most attractive I've looked in this part of the world. scraped my butt pretty good, luckily not in the same place as before (good story for those who haven't heard it), as I feared - cause I would just love those scars to be darker.

we also spent three days with the maasai but that's a story for another time. let's just say it involved dancing, beading, cattle, goat sacrifices, raw kidney and lots of dust.

we visited the hadzabe as well. they are one of the last remaining hunter gatherer cultures in the world. they live a crazy life. the climate they live in is so harsh and unforgiving I can't imagine having to subsist there. we shot bows and arrows, made fire (the old fashioned way, two sticks) and danced. they smoke loads of marijuana - I probably would too if I lived like they do. apparentl they never turn up for the census so when the tanzanian government conducted the last one they bribed the hadzabe with weed. they handed out free marijuana to any hadzabe that showed up to be counted. hehe ...

our last day was spent at ngorogoro crater which I could try to describe but I'm not sure I have the words. it is easily one of the most incredible places I've ever been. we drove up the crater's side in the morning mist, saw lions mating, descended into the crater just as the sunlight was breaking through the clouds. it was like jurassic park meets the lion king meets the land before time meets awesome. we drove around in out safari vehicle (with the pop top - best ever!) for hours and saw lions, cheetahs, water buffalo, wildebeest, hippos, gazelle, elephants, ostrich, zebra, vultures, hyenas ... it was PHENOMENAL!

shorts.

well, learned my lesson the hard way. yesterday evening I was walking down the street on my way to get a cold tusker. a rather shabby looking, possibly mentally confused man asked my friend, denis, for some money. denis said no and the man turned to me and asked. I said no as well.

I should've mentioned I was wearing shorts. not short shorts. I mean on a normal sized person the shorts I was wearing might have been short but on me they were fairly modest. and it was hot and humid. I stick out anyway, no matter what clothes I wear I'm still white, why shouldn't I at least be comfortable in the blistering african heat. here's why:

after I told the man "no" I passed him. and as I passed he took his dirty, long finger-nailed hand and reached right up my shorts for a full ass grab. and I freaked. I batted his hand away, turned around and let loose some of the most foul language I've ever unleashed on another human being. my friend denis grabbed me and pulled me away, clearly confused why I'd instantaneously lost my mind.

two tuskers later I calmed down...